Saturday, August 20, 2011

Best One So Far

I've been receiving a lot of opportunities to save Nigerian Princesses, Chinese Emperors and multi-millionaires stuck in foreign countries. These official documents find their way to my inbox and even the spam filter doesn't kick them out, so I know they're bona fide. This one came today, and I thought I'd share it because it is, by far, the best one. I have a friend who works for the FBI, so I forwarded it to him and asked him to please not take me to the law for money laundry. I have enough regular laundry.


FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
INTELLIGENCE FIELD UNIT
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,NW WASHINGTON,D.C.
ATTN: BENEFICIARY
I AM SPECIAL AGENT JOHN EDWARD FROM THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) INTELLIGENCE UNIT, WE HAVE JUST INTERCEPTED AND CONFISCATED TWO CONSIGNMENT BOXES AT JFK AIRPORT IN NEW YORK, AND WE ARE ON THE VERGE OF MOVING IT TO OUR BUREAU HEAD QUARTERS.
WE HAVE SCANNED THE SAID BOXES, AND HAVE FOUND IT TO CONTAIN LARGE SUM OF MONEY AND ALSO BACKUP DOCUMENT WHICH BEARS YOUR NAME AS THE RECEIVER OF THE MONEY CONTAINED IN THE BOXES, INVESTIGATIONS CARRIED OUT ON THE DIPLOMAT WHICH ACCOMPANIED THE BOXES INTO THE UNITED STATES HAS IT THAT HE WAS TO DELIVER THIS FUNDS TO YOUR RESIDENCE AS PAYMENT WHICH WAS DUE YOU FROM THE OFFICE OF FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IN NIGERIA FROM UNPAID CONTRACT SUMS.
WE CROSS-CHECKED ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTATION IN THE BOXES, AND WERE ABOUT TO RELEASE THE CONSIGNMENT TO THE DIPLOMAT,WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT THE BOXES IS LACKING ONE VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENTATION WHICH AS A RESULT, THE BOXES HAS BEEN CONFISCATED.
ACCORDING TO SECTION 229 SUBSECTION 31 OF THE 2005 AMENDED CONSTITUTION IN TAX PAYMENT, YOUR CONSIGNMENT LACKS PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE FROM THE JOINT TEAM OF THE IRS AND HOMELAND SECURITY, AND THERE FOR, YOU MUST CONTACT US FOR DIRECTION ON HOW TO PROCURE THIS CERTIFICATE, SO THAT YOU CAN BE RELIEVED OF THE CHARGES OF EVADING TAX WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE UNDER SECTION 12 SUBSECTION 441 OF CONSTITUTION ON TAX EVASION.
YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CONTACT THIS BUREAU WITHIN 72HOURS, OR YOU WILL BE ARRESTED, INTERROGATED AND PROSECUTED IN THE COURT OF LAW FOR MONEY LAUNDRY.
ALSO, YOU MUST NOT CONTACT ANY OTHER BANK OR PERSONS IN NIGERIA, THE UNITED KINGDOM OR ANY PART OF THE WORLD FOR ANY PAYMENT, BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT HAVE BEEN CONFISCATED BY THIS BUREAU HERE IN THE UNITED STATES.
YOURS IN SERVICE,
AGENT JOHN EDWARD
REGIONAL DEPUTY-DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
INTELLIGENCE FIELD UNIT
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,NW WASHINGTON,D.C.
20535-0001,USA.

1 comment:

halsadick said...

I checked, and you'll be happy to know that they at least got the address right for FBI headquarters.