I’ve been painting. That’s why I haven’t answered the phone, the door or the voices in my head. I’m too busy. I’ve painted walls, ceilings and trim. I hate ceilings. In my next house, we’re going to have glass ceilings with automatic cleaners. Of course, if you walked into my house, you wouldn’t notice. No one notices but me. Does this make me crazy? All this painting so that I can feel better about my circa ’70’s house? If it doesn’t make me nuts, then the paint that has dripped into my eyeballs from the ceiling will certainly make me blind. Blind and nuts. Alms, anyone?
While I’ve been soaking up paint fumes, I’ve discovered a new favorite podcast. Stuff You Missed In History Class, from HowStuffWorks.com. Free to those of us with the ability to click “subscribe.” At first, I thought, “Wow, who knew I was such a history buff? Who knew I had this latent cool streak in me?” Then I realized that it isn’t about the histories. It’s about the stories. I love stories. So, I’m not so cool. But I do know a lot about the Medici, the molasses spill in Boston, the Romanovs, Oscar Wilde, the caning of Charles Sumner... Oh, I’m so well-rounded. There’s one episode I suggest you skip, though. I’m telling you this as friend who’s been there. Don’t listen to the real story of Bluebeard. I thought he was a pirate. Nope, not a pirate. Not even close. Don’t listen to it. You’ll cry and you’ll be miserable and you’ll hate all men by association. And you’ll hug your sweet little babies until they roll their eyes at you and ask if they can please move to another, less needy family. Seriously.