Tuesday, April 6, 2010

A Girl From Nantucket

It’s National Poetry Month. I know, you’re all going nuts with the streamers and noisemakers now. “National Poetry Month!” you’re saying. “Just what we needed to dispel the end-of-winter blues!” In order to aid you in your celebrating, I’ve come up with some lines to spur your creativity.

  1. There once was a man from Hong Kong.

Sorry, I can’t go on. All I’ve got are bawdy limericks. You’re on your own for this one.

But, if poetry isn’t your thing, here are some other things April celebrates.

  1. African American Women’s Fitness Month (whew--that let’s the rest of us off the hook!)
  2. Autism Awareness month. Just don’t approach them directly or get in their personal space.
  3. International (!) Cesarean Awareness Month--feel free to compare scars.
  4. Car Care Month. I’m sending roses.
  5. Emotional Overeating Awareness Month. Let’s hope if you engage in this, you are not also an African American Woman, because you might be torn--do I eat or jog? Eat or jog?
  6. Fresh Florida Tomatoes Month. I assume they mean the ones that grow on vines.
  7. Holy Humor Month. “A Priest, a Rabbi and a Mormon walk into a bar...”
  8. Nationally Sexually Transmitted Diseases Month. I don’t wanna know how you celebrate this.
  9. Pet First Aid Awareness Month. Mouth to mouth anyone?
  10. Straw Hat Month. I, personally, don’t think you should wear straw until July.

Today is also Drowsy Driver Awareness Day, but it’s hard to get the word out, since they keep falling asleep.

No Housework Day is tomorrow. And how is that different from every other day of my children’s lives? The 8th is One Day Without Shoes, which I may celebrate since it will be warm. If I were in Minnesota, I would celebrate indoors. I’m including the link so you can waste your own time figuring out such intriguing things like “When is National Licorice Day?”