The four year old wants to go to McDonald’s. She always wants to go to McDonald’s and I always (almost) say ‘no.’ Of course, I have to say ‘no’ about 70,000 times because when I say ‘no’ she hears ‘ask me again, please.’ So our conversations about not going to McDonald’s last for hours on end. Literally.
I decided to try a new tack. Instead of my standard ‘no because McDonald’s will eat away your insides and destroy your mental abilities and make you fat and ugly and smelly and I love you too much to let that happen while you’re four,’ I tried the ‘we don’t always get everything we want and this is one of those times’ avenue. In my most sympathetic voice, I explained that sometimes we go out to eat and sometimes we don’t and this was a case where we were not going out to eat.
She said, “When I’m a mom can I?”
“Sure, when you’re a mom, you can go out to eat whenever you want.”
In an excited voice, “When you die I can!”
Thoughtfully, “Maybe Dad will take us.”
Okay, in three sentences, the child managed to come up with three different scenarios that get rid of me, the Fun Destroyer, in order to do what she REALLY wants to do, which is, apparently, eat junk food and play on bacteria-infested plastic structures. Too bad I don’t drink, because after conversations like that, I think I’d really like some vodka.