South African runner Caster Semenya is undergoing a series of tests to confirm that she is a female. Apparently, the IAAF, which monitors races like the 800-meter that Caster won, had a Lola moment, not unlike my rec center locker room experience, and have decided they need to verify. They have a team of at least 3 specialists looking into the issue.
Uh, 3 specialists? I’m thinkin’ if the IAAF needs that many people to determine gender, then they've never hung out in a High School locker room. Other than the blood tests, DNA tests and simple “pull ‘em down” test, how about a few well-placed questions to ferret out a man-cum-woman?
1. How far can you pee in a single stream?
2. When watching TV, what do you scratch?
3. Beef or chicken?
4. How many pieces of furniture in an bedroom suite?
5. What is a “valance”?
6. Which goes on first: cover up or powder?
7. What kind of car is that? (Trick question. If the runner answers by anything other than color, you know she is actually a he.)
Okay, that’s about sexist, I know. But 3 specialists, all doing different tests? If Caster wants to win enough to change her yoo-yoo to a whoo-whoo, then call her a girl and let her win. Good grief, you’ve already ruined any chance of romance she has, regardless of her birth-gender—give her some sort of premio to compensate.