Wednesday, August 19, 2009

But They Won't Go Topless

A town in France, that bastion of liberality, has banned burquinis. For those non-Muslims out there (or for those of you who don’t look for options to Summer Shaving), a burquini is a head-to-toe covering suitable for swimming in. Material, fit, etc, all lend itself to water wear, while the amount of skin showing makes it modest enough for Islamic law. A local French pool banned the use of a burquini due to “France’s pool hygiene standards.”
Blink Blink.
So, what you’re saying to me is that having a whole body covered is dirty, while allowing men in Speedos is, what, clean? I’m thinking the more skin that’s covered, the fewer pubic hairs I’ve got floating around in my local pool. And I, personally, think more women ought to engage in the head to toe swim suit idea. In fact, gracias a las vericose veins mapping out Toledo on the backs of my legs, it would beautify the scenery considerably if I went Islam and wore more clothing to the seaside. Not to mention that I would be much more comfortable and less gossipy if the artificially endowed 2nd wives at the pool covered their flat stomachs so the rest of us could enjoy swimming without sucking it in.
I would also like to mention, in passing, that France is the nation of topless beaches. I assume that’s because it makes breastfeeding easier. Apparently, though, the 18-35 crowd isn’t falling in with tradition. Those girls wear tops, while the mamas and grandmas let it all hang out (or should I say, hang down?) Makes ya wonder what, exactly, is hygienic about wrinkled boobs scraping the sand. So, in summary, if you wanna go to France, and ya don’t wanna break any laws, you’re safer stripping.

1 comment:

buttercup said...

Interesting--ban modest clothing. That trend is sure to hit America in 2-3 years-We are SO behind the fashion forward France. (I still love France anyway)