“Wow. Your butt is like THIS BIG!!! (Hands held wide apart.) Congratulations on growing so big! My butt’s only this big (hands narrowed and almost touching).”
So begins some quality time with my 6 year old. There’s nothing I like better than having my children make personal comments about my body. Unless, of course, it’s making personal comments about my body in public. Clearly, the middle child honestly believes that having a big bottom is a sign of maturity. Just wait until she hits puberty. Boy am I going to remind her about her theory on tookuses.
The 3 year old named her body parts for the babysitter recently. I know this because I got a call from the babysitter’s mother.
“Just wanted to tell you something funny. Your 3 year old undressed last time my daughter watched her. ‘Here’s my arm,’ she said. ‘Here’s my leg. Here’s my bum. And here’s my VAGINA!!!’” My question? How come my daughter was out of sight long enough to get naked? I mean, the babysitter had been warned that any time the erstwhile baby left her sight she was probably doing something she shouldn’t be doing.
The 6 year old and 3 year old joined forces a few nights ago. This time, the conspiracy wasn’t verbal. At the 3 year old’s request, the 6 year old used her safety scissors to cut the baby blanket in which the youngest had been wrapped to be charioted home from the hospital. The blanket she sleeps with every night, which has traveled to every part of this great nation, and which has been the floor covering for countless tea parties. Not content with destroying one cherished heirloom, they proceeded to cut my husband’s blanket in half. The blanket he slept under his whole youth, made for him by his mother who has since stopped sewing. Both blankets, cut in half. I tell ya, why wasn’t their mother watching them better? Sheesh, you’d think she’d know by now…