Monday, March 16, 2009

Here Comes Peter Cottontail

I hate to be pinched. Especially when I’m not Irish and I don’t think it was very nice of St. Patrick to kill all the Druids. I’m not opposed to corned beef and cabbage, though, nor do I mind a good potato.
I think holidays are bizarre. I enjoy most of them, but decorating for St. Patrick’s Day? Don’t you think it’s a bit creepy to put up pictures of short men in green? And have you ever found a four-leaf clover? My mother could look down at a spot of ground and pull one up every time. I think she got our family’s whole share of lucky clovers, although I’m not sure it did her much good (besides the fact that she had me as a daughter, of course.)
Halloween is another holiday I find hard to understand. Okay, so pick a day and assume that on the eve of that day, all the evil beings, spirits, demons, etc, have free reign. Now, send your kids outside. In the dark. To play with the goblins. All Saint’s Day I get, but All Hallow’s Eve? I’m thinkin’ if I believed in that stuff, I’d spend the night at my local church. Actually, I wouldn’t, because I’ve seen too many scary shows where people die at the hands of priests-gone-to-hell. I don’t buy the spirits-walking-on-earth bit, so I celebrate the night in the same way most of you do. I dress my kids up as characters I’d never actually want them to be and send them to strangers’ houses to get food I don’t actually want them to eat. You don’t find that weird?
And a giant bunny, sneaking into your house to hide boiled eggs? What salmonella-loving-person came up with that? I swear, the next time someone gives me a plastic egg with real rabbit crap in it, I’m going to make them eat it (this has happened several times. I do not like practical jokes and I do not like poop in my hand.)
The holidays I totally understand are not real holidays and nobody celebrates them. Arbor Day, for instance. When’s the last time you even knew when it was, let alone planted a tree? I never do. And yet, I like trees. I approve of them. I think the world would be better off with more trees.
I also like Mother’s Day, but it’s a touchy holiday, isn’t it? I mean, the poor kids at my house. They are highly regulated on what breakfast offerings they’re allowed to bring me. Because soggy cereal makes me throw up and if my kitchen is a mess when I come down, it doesn’t count as a present, does it? I also give my husband a list, well in advance, of appropriate gifts. Coupon books, good. A t-shirt with a child’s face, bad. Art work, good. More smelly lotion, bad. This year, I’m requesting a tree. A Tilton apricot tree, available at Home Depot for $27.95. It must have budded and it should be planted in a spot I’ll show them. You can say I want the tree to remind me through the years of the joy my children bring, of the love we share, of family togetherness. But really I just love apricots. No one else in my family does. So, unlike other gifts, it’s a present I will not have to share.
Maybe we’ll plant the tree on Arbor Day. If we can figure out when it is.

9 comments:

The Stevens said...

I agree about the crazy holidays. I am trying to use them as reasons to spend time with my kids doing a special project. And St. Patricks Day will always be celebrated in our house since my baby was born on that day, and she has red hair!

buttercup said...

I know that Arbor Day occurs in late april/early May. Why? Because that is the weekend I moved into my home and the city forgot to turn on the electricity, but they were closed on this particular Friday and I was racking my brain as to why! therewere no major holidays going on were there? Well, I happen to live in a USA Tree City (whatever that is?) and they close their city offices on Arbor Day. So this Arbor day will commemorate 8 yrs of homeownership and I will continue to wonder why the city shuts down...

treeplanting said...

The national date for Arbor Day is the last Friday in April. This year tree planting & celebrations will be held on April 24, 2009. A small number of states have their own special date for Arbor Day. For instance, yesterday Arkansas celebrated Arbor Day on March 16th.

To find out when your state celebrates the tree planter's holiday please visit: http://www.arborday.org/arborday/arbordaydates.cfm

To find Arbor Day dates around the world: http://www.arborday.org/arborday/arborDayDatesInternational.cfm

In reply to Buttercup's question...the Tree City USA program provides direction, assistance, attention, and national recognition for urban and community forestry programs in thousands of towns and cities that more than 120 million Americans call home. www.treecityusa.org

Finally, Big Bahama Mama, I hope you will join with nearly one million members of the Arbor Day Foundation this spring and plant trees. Give us a call at 888.448.7337 and we'll get you started or visit, www.arborday.org

Sincerely, Robert Smith
Arbor Day Foundation

poopy2poo said...

Hahahahaha! I can't believe you actually got a comment from the Arbor Day Association! Priceless!

Robyn said...

Wow Mama! You are like a celebrity! You are totally getting the Arbor Day Foundation posting to your blog, but I am a celebrity by association because they answered my question too. I think you better go plant a tree! Hal better get you that apricot tree for sure now!

Alecia said...

Gary almost choked on his dinner because He was laughing so hard. He has now found a new way to torture his little sister. I think she will be getting a plastic Easter egg with real rabbit poop in it. I don't think that boys ever grow out of teasing their little sisters.

Big Bahama Mama said...

I used to get mailings from the Arbor Day Foundation, but I didn't really want 10 saplings for my donation, so I sent them pink thoughts instead. I think this year I'll send them some green, just for being so cool and commenting on my rather silly blog.
And did you notice his name is Robert Smith? I'm sure he wears far less eyeliner...

BlueSkiesBreaking said...

I totally went to the website he gave and did you know that Texas's state tree is the Pecan tree? I didn't know either. Hmmm...this may explain the infatuation with pecan pie.

buttercup said...

Ada just won a tree from the arbor day foundation for a poster she did. I'll be blogging about it tonight or tomorrow. So we are going to plant it tomorrow morning!