Sunday, October 12, 2008

When 2 Tribes Go to War

I am the most popular person in the country right now. I get visits every week, usually 2-3 times, from stumpers out convincing plebeians to see it their way. You see, I’m a suburban white mother, registered but unaffiliated, in a swing state during a Presidential election year. Normally I don’t answer the door on Saturdays (never anyone I want to know.) But, recently, I’ve been inundated. Hal mops up the overflow on days, like yesterday, when I don’t feel well enough to talk politics with complete strangers.
Last week, I got a visit from a 20-something who smelled like he hadn’t met a shower. He wanted me to vote ‘no’ on 3 proposals. I asked him what the proposals said. I assumed, mistakenly, that since he knew so much about them, he’d certainly have them written down somewhere, perhaps on a handy-dandy little flier he could give me. Nope. He could tell me why they were bad, but not what they said. And, when I told him in my sweet ‘get a real job’ voice that I would like to read the proposals for myself, he said, and I am not kidding, “They’re too complicated.” Um, thank you oh noble Neanderthal, but I think Geico wants you back on the set. Good grief! I mean, maybe you think I’m an idiot or maybe you think proposals are always written in a difficult language. But please don’t insult the lady in the apron! Just because I’m at home during the day doesn’t mean my brain synapses only fire to soap operas! (They really get going to Wiggles, but that’s a different blog.)
Anyway, so while I enjoy the extra attention during this campaign season, I won’t be sad to get out of it and into gift-buying season, when the doorbell rings at nap time because packages are being delivered. If my kid’s gonna wake up too early, at least let it be the Wells Fargo Wagon at my door.
Besides, I’m probably voting for Nader.


The Stevens said...

well put.

I love how you can turn mundane things into very entertaining stories.

buttercup said...

I think I found the perfect candidate for you! Click on this link and pretend it is coming from a 20 something knocking on your unaffliated door!

Arlynda said...

Go suburban registered-but-unaffiliated white mothers!

Big Bahama Mama said...

I proudly accept my country's nomination for President of the United States. (Wait for applause.) When elected, I promise to supply every household in this great nation, regardless of income, religion or gender, one free box of chocolate. Because I know that if we unite over chocolate, we can unite over larger issues as well.