Wednesday, October 29, 2008

67 Channels and Nothing's On

Let’s take this blog back to the gym. There are rows of TV’s lined up for our viewing pleasure. They’ve got 2 channels of news (Fox and CNN so that the matter and anti-matter can create a vacuum through which will be sucked various pundits), some sports, and TNT/TBS (they alternate). I don’t enjoy either sports or news early in the morning, and I certainly have no desire to watch Las Vegas. Whose stupid idea was Primetime in the Daytime? Like I need to wonder if the guy next to me on the rowing machine is getting all juiced over the, not kidding, topless chicks on TNT. I like mindless, funny, not-interfering-with-the-thought-process TV, aka Rachel Ray, Today Show, Regis and Kelly, etc. And I don’t want to get wrapped up in a plot, because the last thing I need is a choice between Antonio Banderas as Zorro and crunches. So yesterday I asked the Remote Control Master to change just one station. I told him I didn’t care what he chose, as long as it wasn’t sports, news, or smut. That was my mistake. I left the decision making process up to a personal trainer. Guess what he chose? Infomercials. Yup. First it was Salsa Dancing to Fitness, then it was Never Sharpen Knives, then a Chicken Roaster. And suddenly I cared deeply what was happening in football.
So today when I showed up, I planned on keeping my big mouth shut. I figured I’d call the topless TV chicks “inspiration” and work on kicking up my testosterone levels through ESPN.
But someone higher up must have gotten the memo. Either that or one day of Infomercials torqued off enough of the spandex crew that they complained. Either way, Today Show was on. Right next to TNT, but whatever. And just so you know, thanks to the Today Show, I can now tailgate for 8 under $80.00. ‘Course, I’ll have to start watching sports…

1 comment:

BlueSkiesBreaking said...

I also hate whatever is playing on the multiple televisions every time I go to the gym. So I put on my headphones and close my eyes. I must look like a freak.