Thursday, September 25, 2008

Hold On Tight

You gotta admire a grown man who can make an entire music video while holding his who-who. I’m talking about Kanye in the video for Homecoming. Chris Martin has his own, um, quirks—have you ever seen him live? When he plays the piano, he really gets up close and personal. With the piano, that is.
What is it about boys and their extras? Sitting in the Kindergarten classroom with my daughter, I noticed 3 boys hanging out together around the blocks. All holding their “handles”. Not talking about it, not yanking, just building towers and hanging on. I’m wondering if it’s a fascination or a fear for them. Is it such an incredible thing, that they have this hidden appendage, or are they afraid that if they let go, it will fall off? I’m looking for someone with that sort of item to weigh in here. Having never been a man, having never had a pocket in my undies, I’m wondering why it is that there’s a common theme to men relaxing. Is it an invitation of some sort?
I’ve seen a few women who are hangers-on, too. They’re the same ones who are likely to use their girls as a storage facility. Me, personally, I can’t get away with that. I stick so much as a nickel in my bra and people wonder why I have the image of Thomas Jefferson embossed on my shirt. I put my hankies in my purse and I don’t grab myself. First, I’m likely to miss. Second, it’s not a comfortable thing for my hands to be doing. Third, I’m usually lugging kids around so my hands are kept pretty busy without checking to make sure Los Tetones are in place.
And, speaking of the Grand Tetons, why in the world did we keep that name? What, we let a bunch of lonely old men walk around making up hilarious names, and in our wisdom we say, “Great. Write it on the map. How do you spell it again?” Big Boobs Mountains. I bet the French are still laughing about that one.

8 comments:

Megan said...

LOL!!! The only thing I can think of is...well if I have no support for my boobs I tend to grab them during the day to keep them from bouncing around and hurting me. So maybe the boys do the same thing. They don't have any support and to keep if from bouncing around all day and hurting them they have to support it with their hand.

buttercup said...

I know one of my sons really likes his. He calls it his shooter, uses it as a thermometer to guage the temperature of his bath water (SERIOUSLY!), and usually sleeps holding on to it. I don't know why either--sometimes I know he does things to watch my reactions.

Arlynda said...

When I'm nursing I'll grab my girls just before I nurse to see which one is fuller, I tend to forget which side I fed on last.
I really don't understand why boys do this if you ever figure it out, let me know.

halsadick said...

Boys would never do such a thing. The very idea!!

buttercup said...

I was really hope Hal would give us some true insight into the male psyche!

Big Bahama Mama said...

One of the reasons I married Hal (sorry, honey) was his lack of insight into the male psyche. He doesn't burp, scratch or moon people, and so far he does a decent job putting the toilet seat down.

halsadick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
halsadick said...

Buttercup: Sorry, that's boys-only information.

Bigbahama: In the interest of full disclosure, your description should be amended to read "He doesn't burp, scratch or moon people AS FAR AS I AM AWARE."

Please excuse me now. I have some towers to build.