You gotta admire a grown man who can make an entire music video while holding his who-who. I’m talking about Kanye in the video for Homecoming. Chris Martin has his own, um, quirks—have you ever seen him live? When he plays the piano, he really gets up close and personal. With the piano, that is.
What is it about boys and their extras? Sitting in the Kindergarten classroom with my daughter, I noticed 3 boys hanging out together around the blocks. All holding their “handles”. Not talking about it, not yanking, just building towers and hanging on. I’m wondering if it’s a fascination or a fear for them. Is it such an incredible thing, that they have this hidden appendage, or are they afraid that if they let go, it will fall off? I’m looking for someone with that sort of item to weigh in here. Having never been a man, having never had a pocket in my undies, I’m wondering why it is that there’s a common theme to men relaxing. Is it an invitation of some sort?
I’ve seen a few women who are hangers-on, too. They’re the same ones who are likely to use their girls as a storage facility. Me, personally, I can’t get away with that. I stick so much as a nickel in my bra and people wonder why I have the image of Thomas Jefferson embossed on my shirt. I put my hankies in my purse and I don’t grab myself. First, I’m likely to miss. Second, it’s not a comfortable thing for my hands to be doing. Third, I’m usually lugging kids around so my hands are kept pretty busy without checking to make sure Los Tetones are in place.
And, speaking of the Grand Tetons, why in the world did we keep that name? What, we let a bunch of lonely old men walk around making up hilarious names, and in our wisdom we say, “Great. Write it on the map. How do you spell it again?” Big Boobs Mountains. I bet the French are still laughing about that one.